Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Randomize
