Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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