I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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