butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
