it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize