I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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