Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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