I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
