its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
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