she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
