I molested 6 butterflies tonight
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
either way he was missing a nipple.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
