At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
