ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
