worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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