How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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