it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
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Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
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I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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