I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
I dont know to explain this.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.