it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
