My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
