So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
