last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
