I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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