Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Who died my cat blue again?
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