I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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