trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
