i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
