She said her name was "party"
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize