Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
