how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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