...so i touched it.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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