hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Randomize