We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
