i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Randomize
