so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
barbara walters just said penis...
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
