And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Randomize
