worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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