He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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