Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I just googled if crying burns calories
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
