i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
