Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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