fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
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