WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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