Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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