I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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