i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
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You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
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I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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