I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
