so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
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I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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