Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
