I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize