My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
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Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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