"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
