My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
