I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Randomize
