the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
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I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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