I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I accidentally had phone sex last night
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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