I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
