I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize
