Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
