im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
