How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
