We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
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