you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Randomize
