Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
