is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Randomize
