you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
