Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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